The greatest pressures are the ones we put on ourselves.
But when you fall off a bicycle, it is important that you get back up, get back on, and try riding again. It is human to resist being conquered. It is human to resist nature.
So much of this life is just me learning and forgetting and re-learning to let go.
The Florida night air was unusually cool – or perhaps it just is in my memory of the night we had ourselves strapped into that slingshot ride. During the anticipatory countdown, the ambient carnival sounds and muffled voices, and then the WOOSH as the ride launched us into the air, our capsule spinning and suddenly … as if the rest of the world had been put on mute, a voice ringing clear and true above it all, piercing into my heart so deep that I can still hear it perfectly … your voice … “let go”
I freed my white knuckles from the grip of the harness and let the air rush through my open fingers as the lights whirled past.
Tuesday morning, I awoke well before dawn and headed into Arches National Park. It must have been about 5:30am when I arrived along with four or five other cars. Along the road we caught up with a dozen more early travelers – all of whom made the turn for Delicate Arch. So I pushed on, eventually winding up at Broken Arch after a meeting a motorcycle rider from Wisconsin. The pleasant hike to the arch ended with spectacular sunrise views. But most importantly, I was the only person there. I had the entire world to myself. And i didn’t livestream it, or try to record anything, or take a picture. It was just for me.
I will go back and do the Syncline trail again. I may even backcountry camp when I do. That trail is immensely challenging and incredibly beautiful. The views are almost unbelievable. My friends who have run marathons have all told me that the first they want to do when finishing is run it again. I get that now. I’m ready again for that adventure, when it’s time.
Until then, back to letting go. Or, trying? …hmmm. oh! Practicing!
Practice letting go.